Secrets of the big man

For those who do not know I am not what one can call a small human being. I am tall, broad shouldered and rather round. Not round enough where I can fall on my side and roll naturally or I can do awesome cannonballs, but just enough to learn the ways of the bigger man. When I mean it could be a taller country boy type or just someone who lives life large and in charge.

First, often times there is a difference between us and those who are medically unable to move. Some of us have gland issues and have gotten over it some of us just don’t watch our diet. This does not mean we are lazy though it just means we have higher things to worry about then the biochemical breakdown of what goes in our face. Although to this day I still don’t eat Mcdonalds and I haven’t for years. Anyway, we do move and surprisingly well in some cases despite our height or size. Look at the some of the smaller heavyweight sumo wrestlers, some mma guys like “big country” and even historical figures like Al Capone or Theodore Roosevelt for examples.

We do know how to dress for the occasion. If we don’t need to dress for looks then often we will dress for comfort. Why? because that is what we want and it really should be looked at more. We will use what we have to do what we need to. Still every so often we can style and profile with the best of them.

Another secret that many of the bigger men have is the almost meticulous degree some people will look at others and just lose their minds over someone gaining or losing a dozen pounds. Unless it means a serious health hazard we don’t start caring over a dozen pounds. Some of us can’t even wonder why there is so much heat over some people gaining a couple pounds. Believe it or not we want you to be healthy it is okay to be whatever you want to be but all we want as people is just  everyone to be healthy.

We are great space heaters. We can walk out in to the cold sometimes with nothing more then a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts and we will have no problems. Hug us and we can make you just warmer. It is good for the utilities when we don’t have to pay heating and it makes cuddling much easier. Also, if we are in a bit of a playful mood then we can actually make squeaky sounds like the ones you hear from a rubber ducky. No lie, we bigger man actually have a few voice tricks

Buying new clothes can be difficult. Though as bigger guys we know that if something says large it should be the same size from all companies. Except that is not the case when a large from one company means medium in another and no one will think of shirts with extra room in the shoulders, chest, legs and etc. Turns every time to shop for clothes like Russian Roulette by which your only save is to try it on awkwardly in store.

Finally, and I can get in trouble for this one. If you know someone that has been big their entire life then you should probably know that all of us can actually throw people into space. Don’t believe me. Make fun of their mom or tell them how their work is a pale mirror of your supposed work. Try to rip them a new one verbally I can assure you we as a subspecies of the human race have learned how to toss people for interstellar travel. Some of us can even travel ourselves. (This whole paragraph may be false for those who believe everything read on the internet.)

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